1. No reserving loungers - the chair is for SITTING not RESERVING, cunt.
  2. If you wanna reserve something, call a fuckin' restaurant, cunt.
  3. Max time to be away from the sunlounger is TWELVE MINUTES unless you are in the pool. This includes: running back to your room to grab something, going to the bar, or taking a shit because you drank alcohol at breakfast time because #holidaylyf, cunt.
  4. Sunlounger? Hardly know 'er!
  5. We go on holidays to avoid the rat race - don't make me rat race for a chair, cunt.
  6. Sunloungers are made for butts, not bags, cunt.
  7. 'oh - but what if I don't get a chair?!' This is why it's important to follow these rules, so no one misses out, cunt.
  8. Sunlounger adjacent: poolside waiters are fucking legends and you should treat them as such. Be polite when ya order your nachos, cunt.